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On Second Thought
Van Halen - Diver Down ![]() The original songs have the harshest stereo panning so by turning the right channel off you can take Eddie out of the mix entirely and hear what a bunch of drunks at a soundcheck are like. “Hang ‘Em High” (better than the Beasties’ “High Plains Drifter” if not the Lurkers’ “Go Ahead Punk Make My Day”) is mainly drawled Last Poets style, but the other songs suffer from David Lee Roth’s lack of confidence with original material compared to his way with a cover. “Secrets” is a Jimi Hendrix (“strong as the mountain, she’s as tall as the trees”) pastiche where the band’s role as a life-support system finds them at their most comfortable, and “Little Guitars” has Roth attempting Warren Oates in Alfredo Garcia but sings more like Kris Kristofferson instead. He does ‘sensitive’ as well as Roger Daltrey and the song itself is a collision between “Underture” and “Won’t Get Fooled Again” (which itself appeared on Van Halen’s live album.) “The Full Bug” is a nasty, parodic reprise of “Take Your Whiskey Home”, although the references to watching TV and the blatant-caricature blues drawlin’ are like ZZ Top’s more ZigZag moments. There’s a REALLY AWESOME bit where the guitar, bass and drums suddenly play the exact same thing together right in the middle of the solo with no warning—I love it when they do that! Even though it’s obviously a “see look we’re doing this live in the studio” ploy (they probably didn’t), it still sounds cool. Then there’s a harmonica solo! Roth is trying to be Vegas but since this is rock he gets away with not having to meticulously work out his vaudeville routines because while the audience may be stoned enough to figure out what’s going on, they’ll never be as stoned as he is, so he wins. Dolemite, motherfucker! Of the covers, the most pointless was the leadoff track, the two next most pointless were released as singles, and the other two were fan flashpoints providing years of heated conflict that has yet to be resolved. “Where Have All the Good Times Gone” wouldn’t even be funny to stoned people (of course, there’s the caveat I mentioned earlier, but I am VERY broadminded on this issue), also they already did a Kinks song on their first album. (“Alcohol” or “Dead End Street” would’ve seemed natural for them, though.) At least there’s the guitar solo—in this case, it’s drunken, slovenly contempt made audible. “Oh Pretty Woman” lacks Roy Orbison’s ‘death walks behind me’ catacombiness and “Dancing in the Streets” is just not as gay as the Bowie/Jagger version (also unlike the original it never accompanied actual riots where people had their houses burned down or died). Which leaves “Big Bad Bill (Is Sweet William Now)” and Dale Evans’ “Happy Trails”. “BBB” (written in 1927, prescribing interracial sex as a corrective to anti-social behavior [unless ‘Bill’ had brown skin too]) features Eddie’s dad on bass clarinet and is a bit like if Queen and Ry Cooder’s albums named Jazz were the same record. The accapella “Happy Trails” was probably designed for stoners to sing, and it does feature some amusing wavering cottonmouth-basso-profundo, but it’s too confusing, because Roth sings bass through the first two lines then switches to lead for the middle part. Too confusing for anybody but Van Halen, I should specify. Or did I already? ![]() By: Dave Queen 2005-01-04 Comments Log In to Post Comments
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